When Hayden was a baby, I remember thinking to myself, “I’ll never be one of those strict moms with a million rules.” I couldn’t understand these crazy schedules my friends had their kids on. I quickly realized though that it’s what our children need. Over the years, I’ve seen how that structure makes their world safe and predictable.

The last couple of days, I’ve been thinking about the person I was before kids. Fly by the seat of my pants. Free spirit. A hop-on-the-plane-and-go-with-no-reservations kind of girl. A part of me longs for that kind of freedom.

I’m the bad cop in my kids’ lives, which can be tiring after a while. I want for once to be the one who sneaks them treats and toys without asking them to eat veggies first or earn them in some way.

We are on vacation right now, so I told the other adults that I am the only one who can give my kids treats or gifts the whole trip. What fun for me to be the one to spoil my kids!

Yesterday was Hayden’s birthday. I took Hayden and Pemberley to get some of the best ice cream on the planet, my friend Toni’s ice cream. So we went to her ice cream store and Pemberley had her first cone. She loved it! We then went to the toy store so Hayden could pick out a special toy for his birthday. We followed it up by pizza for dinner and some birthday cake. Then we finished the day with a slumber party.

It felt like I found a piece of my old self and catered it to my mom self. It was so much fun. I’m not saying I’m now going to constantly run around showering them with toys and sugar, but maybe it’s time to create more situations where I get to show my kids my spontaneous free-spirit self. I’m thinking it’s time to get back to Sunday is fun day. This is an idea I came up with pre-kids. Church first and then a fun activity in the afternoon. Maybe breakfast for dinner. Lots of love, hugs, and laughter are mandatory.

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