I remember the days before kids when dating was dating for me…

Fast forward a toddler, newborn, and failed marriage later, I found myself face to face with the dating scene. I was terrified. Would I ever meet someone? Would anyone like me? What do I even wear on a date? How does that work while breastfeeding? “It has been nice meeting you, but you will have to excuse me because I’m engorged and need to leave and go breastfeed my baby.” Ugh. This is rough, I thought. Mentally preparing myself for dating was interesting. I knew that I wasn’t dating for me. I’m a package deal. I needed to be dating on behalf of my kids. I represent them. I wasn’t going to date for the sake of dating. My kids needed me and time out on dates meant time away from them. I quickly learned that pulling yourself together for a date also requires a lot of time.

I made my lists. My list of must have, can’t have, and would be nice if he had. I spent a ton of time on my knees praying about it. It was so important for me that I did things in a way that God, my kids, my family, and I could be proud of my choices and journey. I needed to set rules and boundaries. I needed to be smart.

I didn’t ever want to put my kids in danger (obviously), and I didn’t want them to ever get attached to someone and then have the relationship not work out. My heart was broken over the fact that I was even in the situation of being in the dating world. This was not part of my plan for myself and my kids. Dang it!!! I took a deep breath, said a prayer, and hit the scene.

This story has a really good ending. I’ll share more later.

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